Big Announcement from Dice Tower West

Big news dropped in the board game world last night as the folks down at The Dice Tower kicked off their Dice Tower West Convention stating that a new state of the art theme park would be arriving to Florida in 2022. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the name of the park will be The Dice Tower and will be built around a giant tower that will function as a free fall ride. Details are still being worked out with investors, but the press release did state that the park would have five "areas" each with its own theme to match popular themes in board game culture. High Fantasy and Sci-Fi were the only two areas mentioned by name, but rumors are circling that Zombies, Agriculture, and Steampunk are possible candidates to fill out the park. Perhaps they will decide to mix themes and bring us Zombies + Agriculture, who knows! Tom Vasel spoke to attendees last night saying, "This is what we've all been waiting for. Board Games are finally hitting mainstream culture and we intend to strike while the iron is hot! This obviously won't be Disney, come on, but watch out Universal! We will be going all out. You'll see characters you recognize as well as lesser known characters that only I have seen in my 29,452 board game reviews. Rides will be top notch and every rider line will be equipped with televisions looping said 29,452 reviews. Of course we will have the largest selection of board games in the world available for purchase and open gaming areas will be located throughout the park! Food, come on, the food will be faaantastic and will mirror the many food themed board games we all know and love. Who knows, maybe we will even see an eggless omelet ride based on Vasco da Gama!“ Zee and Sam also were quoted in the release saying the park will be home to what will essentially be Americans Idol for board game reviewers. Guests will be able to sit in the hot seat and compete to become a contributor for The Dice Tower! Be on the lookout for more details about this exciting new park and visit The Dice Tower website to find out more!

The Dice Tower Website

This post is satire/parody and purely intended to bring a little humor to the topic at hand.

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